Strength In Community
Bourke NSW
This is going to be a long one… not only because the motivational speakers trip to Bourke was over 5 days and 2 trips, but most importantly, because of the incredibly deep, thoughtful, and inspiring connections and experiences I had there.
I was originally contacted by an old friend of mine, Jay Forrester. I met Jay about 10 years ago when he contacted me to come and be guest motivational speakers at Wellington High school and also for Aboriginal Men’s Health Week in Dubbo. He’s a good brother that does some amazing work in his community, he’s also great to have a good convo and a laugh. I enjoy his company.
He called to ask if I was available and willing to come to Bourke to be guest speakers for high schools, a full day at the primary school speaking to students, and also an event for a men’s group. Come on!!! Love that… how could I say no to that. Jay was now working for Bourke Aboriginal Corporation Health Services (BACHS) inside the Bourke community but mentioned he was connected with a man named Uncle Buddy who held a weekly men’s group. Little did I know, Uncle Buddy would become a solid brother. What a man doing some solid work for the men and whole community.
I’m getting a big ahead of myself though… let’s break it all down. Leading up to the event, Jay palmed me off to speak with a few others who were organising the event to look at logistics, and who had some questions.
He firstly put me in touch with Nathan Pollard, who gave me a call to get a run down etc. he was a cool guy, and we connected straight away. He mentioned a bit of what they were thinking & we parked it all until we jumped on a group call with everyone.
The week after I was in Melbourne and there was no way I was missing this call!! I jumped on and was met with a boardroom full of people.
“Hey team…” I introduced myself and off we went. I got to put a face to everyone’s name in the email thread, and we all had a great chat. There asked if I could make it to come and be guest motivational speakers 2 weeks following our call. I told them I was free the specific dates and locked it in.
How the Bourke trip looked.
Tuesday…
I’d be meeting Jay and Nathan beforehand at Bourke high for 2 motivational speakers for High schools talks. 1 for the fellas, and 1 for the girls.
Wednesday
The men’s group with Uncle Buddy where I’d be speaking all things on Mental health, rewriting our story, drugs and alcohol, and breaking patterns.
Thursday
Motivational speakers for primary school students at Bourke primary school where I’d be holding 4 talks!
It was obviously a big one!
I had to drive through the night to get to Bourke because the day and eve previous I had full event in Gympie QLD.
I called Jay and told him my ETA was right on time, and before I got into Bourke I pulled over, brushed my teeth, used some of my baby’s wet wipes to hit the hot spots, and arrived just on time. Do what you gotta do.
Arriving at the school I got to meet Kirsten Marsham who I chatted with on the zoom call and who was a ball of energy and really fun to talk with.
She said Jay and Nathan and was excited to get amongst it! I walked outside and saw my good friend Jay, & gave him a big hug. He introduced me to Nathan & we all had a chat and a laugh and were good to go.
The young fellas started rolling in, and so did some of the mentors there. People from BACHS, Clontarf, and the high school.
I said earlier I love connecting with the people before the talk and I just have to find the angle how to do that.
If it’s students there’s a heap of connection options, if it’s adults I’ve gotta get a bit more creative.
The fellas were playing footy and handball and I saw my opportunity.
I’m pretty good at a bit of handball but these fellas were guns! I still held my own though and the boys laughed at some of my crappy shots but looked impressed at my slogs. I’m an old school slog champion from back in the day so had to dust them off a bit.
Connections made and they started asking who I was and what I was doing there. Told ‘em my name but said they’re about to find out about my story.
The room had about 20 kids and just as many strong men in the room looking after things.
Travelling around over the years, I’ve noticed that must schools are dominated by female teachers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but young men need male leaders and mentors, and this bunch had an abundance of those! Before the talk I introduced myself to each and every one of the students and also the mentors.
I was honestly blown away by the strong men in the room.
The talk went sooooo good! I could see the young men sitting quietly nodding their heads and watched the men in the background do the same. Afterwards the men told me they d NEVER seen the students sit still and respectful for that amount of time. I love hearing that.
We all chatted openly afterwards and then it was time to hit the field for a game of touch footy.
It was a mix of the young male students, the girls, men mentors, and teachers who were all having a go! Some of the gifts and talents in those kids was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe how naturally they played.
I was holding my own too for a while until I threw a hopeless long ball and one if the students commented “I can see why you’re an author.” Gotta love the cheeky ones!
I was pretty spent from the long drive, meeting everyone, handball, talk with the fellas, footy at lunch, and now it was time to speak with the girls.
It was just as much connected with them and I’m so thankful to have had the chance to be guest motivational speaker for high schools at Bourke.
Afterwards, the principal, Trent, who I met yearsss ago when I spoke at Walgett, approached me and spoke so strongly about how great the day was. He said it was the best thing that’s happened at the school recently and it was perfect timing. Love that feedback!
Afterwards I retired back to my hotel to finally have a shower!! I hadn’t showered for two days (events and drove through the night), and in those two days I drove approx 20 hours, held 7 motivational speakers talks, almost ran out of petrol, got lost, and then found my way :-)
The shower was blissss! I then had an hour snooze before I went on a search to find some snacks and drinks.
When speaking in small communities whenever I go out afterwards, I always run into the students which I enjoy! They come up chatting about the day and asking some other questions. I went to the supermarket and pretty much every employee was a student. How cool!
I got back to my accom, and finally got my beauty sleep in. I slept deeply and ready to go for another big day ahead to speak at the men’s group.
I got an email from Kirsten the night before to thank me for the special day and ask if I wanted to catch up for a coffee and debrief. 10000%!
We met for coffee at the bakery (so good), and had such a great chat.
Usually when away speaking I like to read from people to have some down time, but in Bourke everyone was filling my cup.
I didn’t know his big that cup was until I soon met my new great brother, Uncle Buddy!
I arrived at the event and chatted to another solid brother, Nathan #2, and then got to fully connect with Buddy. He gave me a run down of what he’s been doing with the men. I’m not going to go fully into detail to protect and respect the integrity of the men’s group, but let’s just say that after speaking at spots for 12 years now I’ve never witnessed a more caring, thoughtful, and strong group for men.
Every bit of Buddy's life goes into his men and community. As I held my talk with the men, a lot were nodding their heads and making comments throughout. Usually during my talk it’s me speaking and we chat after with questions but with the connection and realness of the group it turned into a group discussion and Buddy added some real depth and relatability to it all.
I could see everyone reflecting on their own journeys and then opened up with some depth and shared wisdom. Every one of the men came up to me afterwards for a solid hand shake or hug, and thanked me. It was so special.
As the talk was over, we kept chatting and I watched Buddy already making sure all the men in the group were ok, checked they had enough of a feed, let them take some leftovers home to their family, and then organised lifts for everyone to get home. He did it so effortlessly, and with genuine care. I wanted to stick around and chat with him after, and he gave me a deeper understanding of how he started the men’s group and their vision for the future.
He gave me a tour around the grounds and gave me some insight into the past story of the community and grounds.
Again, out of respect for the people and Uncle Buddy, I’ll leave the details as is. It was such an amazing day with some solid brothers.
Buddy and I kept chatting outside the grounds just the 2 of us and he asked me what my plans were for the rest of the year.
I told him I had a few more travels to go and might even be in Dubbo before end of year. I could see him thinking…
“Can you come back before end of November? You really connected with some of those men and if we can get you back, let’s make it happen.”
If I’m being honest, I’ve heard other similar things being said by different organisations in the past & they usually fall through. People are super keen after the talk, but then life and logistics gets in the way.
Not for Buddy.
A few days after I got home I was CC’d in a bunch of emails with Buddy organising me to come back out and spend more time with the men. Uncle Buddy doesn’t muck around that’s for sure. He was pulling resources out of everywhere to make it work.
Busses for transport
Catering
Logistics with the fellas
And a day out on country to connect (plus a heap of other things).
He was on the phone to me a few times cos he’s not a big fan of emails and online so we chatted dates, and next thing I know I was booked in and in my way back to Bourke! This time I could cruise and enjoy the trip without driving through the night.
To hold again the integrity of the men’s group, I won’t go into too many details about the men there and what went down. Buddy’s men’s group is the best I’ve seen, but it isn’t something you can put your finger on or package. Buddy knows his people, makes strong connection with the men, and makes it all work in any way he can.
A big highlight from the trip was Buddy taking me to meet the fellas from Yellow Belly. I had heard about them last trip but didn’t get the chance to meet them. I knew they had a barber and did some music but didn’t fully understand what all of that meant.
I met Buddy for coffee each morning I was there and loved every second of it. He’s my type of brother and we could chat on many levels and also gee up and have a good laugh.
After coffee on the first morning he took me to Yellow Belly premises. I walked in and couldn’t believe it! It was a schmick coffee shop, elite barber, and had a recording studio out back for music and podcasts!
Kobie, Yellow Belly ETC intro himself and showed me around. They even had a press for get own shirts and with their next level branding I had to grab one for myself.
He also showed me all of their band equipment they’d be using for the catch up at the men’s hub for a bbq and music that night. I couldn’t wait for that!!! Live music is awesome, and even better when you know the bros and respect what they do!
I spoke to Kobie more and he told me how they get the school students in each week and was amazed at how much confidence builds up in them after time in the recording studio. I listened to some of the students songs and smiled as I noticed how authentic Kobie was when showing the pride he had in the students.
The night was amazing!! It was for a men's group but Buddy always thinking on his feet to make anything work, he opened it up to families to come to make it that extra bit special. Kids were running around kicking a footy, while others lines up to get a haircut, & the smell of a BBQ was cooking as the Yellow Belly Band did their thing.
I sat down on the seats in front of the band and smiled as the sun was coming down over the horizon and it warmed my face. I looked around, and felt incredibly peaceful and happy. All because I could see the same on everybody else's faces. The mums, kids, dads, all of the other people from the community coming together to connect and help each other out. I honestly haven't felt that inspired and encouraged about the hope of a community than that moment.
The catering was also the best! I love a good feed and Buddy knows how to organise a good one. As people were finishing their plates I could see Buddy thinking.
He then got the food packed up and asked Nathan #2 to take the rest of the food (there was heaps left) to the old people home. Again, everything is out of the usual box, but everything is filled with heart and care, and Buddy and his people all put in to help the men and wider community.
Usually after a few days of being with people, I’m pretty zapped and need to be alone. Not this time. I spoke earlier about the people from Bourke filling my cup.. I wouldn’t call it a cup though after being in the community of Bourke, it was more that they were filling my ocean. I didn’t think I had that capacity to speak, connect, yarn, listen, learn, and laugh, but I’ve been proven wrong.
Thank you to all of the people in Bourke for having me feel so welcome. For sure, most communities have their struggles, and Bourke is no different, but the effort those people are putting in now, those ripple effects will come to fruition in the near future. I have no doubt about that.
Looking forward to getting back there.
God bless.
